


How did that wish version not end up in a ferret?

by CelticGHardy



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Community: comment_fic, I'm hiding the pairing until the end, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 16:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticGHardy/pseuds/CelticGHardy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That kettle has a bad habit of showing up in someone's hands. Unfortunately, they don't always know it until it grants what the person's thinking of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How did that wish version not end up in a ferret?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SamuelJames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuelJames/gifts).



> I saw [this prompt](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/434423.html?thread=69137399#t69137399) on comment_fic and it spawned in my head.
> 
> This is the first full Warehouse 13 fic I've done. So, it may be a little off. Hopefully, not too much.

Claudia was told the story about how Myka got Pete the ferret. She's passed by the tea kettle a few times during inventory, and she's pretty sure that it was dunked in goo not long ago. Apparently, it hadn't been left in it long enough.

“I wouldn't mind adoption,” Steve lamented, “In fact, it'd be great to raise a boy or a girl from newborn stage, but South Dakota won't allow same-sex adoptions.”

“Seriously? There are ways of getting around that,” Claudia said, checking the artifact before putting it on the shelf along with the digital index card. “If your mysterious boyfriend agreed, I could totally take his place.”

He smiled and shook his head, “No, thanks. Don't think it would be a good idea for you to fake being my partner. And I don't need you throwing out sex jokes when we're meeting with social workers.” He leaned up against the shelves. “They would also figure out the ruse once they pay a visit later.”

“Okay,” she drew out, checking her list and wondering the quickest way to the food area to drop of a cauldron that turned anything in it into stone soup. “Well, if you need someone to be a surrogate, I would suggest looking at Myka. Seriously, her badass moves and your lie detector would make an awesome Warehouse agent.” He raised one of his eyebrows. “You know, if that were to happen.”

“Don't go searching for any hypothetical future kids I may have,” he told her. About done in the area, they moved to head over to the music aisles. Hearing a high-pitched whistling, Claudia looked back to see the kettle in his hand. He was holding it up to his face, confused as to where it came from. “Did we have a kettle on the list?” he asked.

“No, we didn't. Do that whole empty mind, meditation thing; I'm getting a neutralizer,” she insisted, running off. He watched her disappear before looking closer at the kettle, taking off the top and peering inside before putting it back on. Claudia was thankful that more containers had been placed basically everywhere, because of Pete's general touching problems. She rushed back and lifted the lid. Steve dunked the kettle and she slapped it back on. “Great, I've gotta put that back.”

“What was it?”

“A wishing kettle that produces ferrets when a wish is impossible,” she said, “That's how Myka got Pete the ferret when she wished for a transfer. And since your wish didn't produce a ferret, what were you thinking of?”

“The idea of having kids,” he admitted.

“Well, maybe that won't be so bad. You could end up with an extra nice social worker that will give you a chance,” she figured, wheeling the container, “Or a young woman that doesn't want to keep a baby.”

“Yeah, or it could expose my boyfriend and turn him into a baby,” he listed.

“Positive thoughts, Jinksy, positive thoughts. Are Buddhists supposed to be about that?”

“Okay, positive thought, my boyfriend's flying in tonight for the first time in months and...” he mentioned.

“Ahh!” she protested, covering her ears, “Not the type of thought I was thinking of.”

-

Usually, the smell of breakfast cooking was a great thing about living in the B&B. It was something that Steve loved getting up with every morning. Now, he was puking over it. Pete was yelling at him through the door. “Come on, Steve, I haven't showered yet,” he complained, “That's the third time you've used the bathroom.”

He coughed up the last of what was in his mouth and rinsed it out quickly before answering, “Sorry, would you rather have me puking in your room?”

“No! But that's the third time.” He opened up the door and Pete rushed in and closed it before he could say anything.

“Feeling any better, Jinksy?” Claudia asked as he finally managed to get himself down for something to eat. The previous breakfast had been put away, and he had to make himself a couple of pieces of toast.

“Not really,” he said, sitting down after getting a glass of orange juice.

The ride to the Warehouse was quiet. Pete and Myka had to get going on a trip to Washington for a Twilight book that actually did make people sparkle (and crave blood and girls like Bella. Claudia had laughed her head off for minutes before being able to stop.) and they were on inventory duty.

Well, Claudia was.

“You, stop,” Artie pointed at Steve. She waved at him before heading down to the floor and away from whatever Artie was going to say. “You have an appointment.”

“An appointment?”

“I called Doctor Calder, she's waiting for you at the clinic in Featherhead.”

“Okay?” he asked.

“It's a hunch,” he dismissed, waving him off, “Go.”

The small little clinic Steve drove to had two people waiting for the only regular doctor stationed there. The clerk was talking to an older woman that recognized him when he walked in. _That must be Doctor Calder._ “Agent Jinks,” she addressed, leading him back, “Thank you for the helpful hints, Lydia.” The room that they were set up in was about as small as a closet, with simply two chairs and a fold up table. “I wanted to do this at the Warehouse, but Artie said something along the lines of certain tests that may need to be done that he didn't have the equipment for. That's ridiculous.” She motioned for him to sit in one of the chairs. “So, you've been puking almost every morning this week. That include today?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Anything else. Extra tired? Tenderness in abdominal region?”

“Tired,” he confirmed, “Almost nodded off on a sofa used by Freud.”

“Oh, that wouldn't have been good,” she sympathized, “All right, I'm going to take some blood. And then I'll need a urine sample.”

“Thankfully, I did not just empty my bladder,” he joked. The rest of the appointment went like a normal check up. She did ask about more possible artifact touches. Other than the kettle, which he still hoped Claudia's ideas were more likely to happen, he hadn't touched anything without gloves or it was immediately neutralized after.

“All right,” she said, “You are done. All the tests will be done in about a week. How tired are you right now?”

“Not that bad,” he answered.

“Artie said if you can handle inventory, go back to the Warehouse. Otherwise, Leena's waiting back at the B and B.”

Steve had an impulse to ask whether Leena read it in his aura what was wrong, but decided he didn't want to know. At least until the results came in.

-

It was eight days when Doctor Calder came back with the results. “Whoa, Artie. Booty call,” Pete cackled, dancing a little bit.

He smacked him with the list of waiting to be shelved Artifacts. “Inventory,” he grumbled. Myka and Claudia took one of each of the papers. There were only three. Steve looked over to Doctor Calder. The girls got the hint and dragged Pete down. “We got the results back.”

They both looked really serious. “Do I have cancer?” he tried joking.

“No,” she dispelled, “The kettle granted your wish. You're pregnant.”

He opened his mouth and closed it again. _That's impossible. But impossible happens here._ “How can that work with me?” he asked, “I don't have the right organs.”

“We would have to ultrasound for a complete answer,” she judged, “But the kettle may have created a womb or used one of your organs. Whichever one, it should go back to normal after the pregnancy.”

He nodded, then heard the last sentence. “Should?” he questioned.

“There have only been about four cases since the beginning of thirteen for males becoming pregnant. Two have womb creation, one had to have an emergency removal. It manifested in an organ that couldn't contain it,” she informed.

He wondered about the fourth case until he realized, “The fourth one is me, isn't it?”

“It will be once it's recorded,” Artie inputted, finally adding to the conversation, “I'll settle details. Now, go tell Claudia. She'll be pleased to know she's going to be an aunt.”

Dismissed, and figuring that the two of them were going to 'talk', he moved down to the floor of the Warehouse. He first spotted Pete, who noticed him and proceeded to bug him over the visit from Doctor Calder. “Come on,” he bugged, “Oh, does it have to do with the many visits to the bathroom?”

“Not saying anything yet,” he pushed off, “I would rather just wait to gather everyone before blurting it out.” He stopped in the middle of his walking. “Oh, how am I supposed to tell him?”

“Tell who? Explain, now.” Steve started walking again to find Claudia. Both her and Myka were hoisting a large crate up and he waited until it was fully settled before getting their attention.

“What was with the doctor visit, Jinksy?” Claudia inquired. Myka and Pete both watched him.

“Well, the kettle granted my wish, sort of,” he revealed, “I'm pregnant.”

“What?” Myka and Pete shouted.

“Yes! I'm going to be an Auntie!” she exclaimed, hugging him. Steve smiled and wrapped his arms automatically. She backed up to ask more questions. “Wait, is your boyfriend the other father? When do we meet him? How are you going to tell him?”

He stuttered, “I, uh, I don't know. Obviously, I've kept him away from the Warehouse.”

“Different question, kettle?” Pete brought up.

“The ferret kettle ended up in his hand and we didn't realize it until the thing whistled and I saw him holding it,” Claudia explained, “I thought it was going to go with a little more easier route. Seriously, how are you going to explain it?”

“I don't know. He's going to visit me this weekend and hopefully I won't be puking as much,” he mentioned, “I was thinking of trying to bring up a plausible story that would account for a baby in roughly a year.”

“Jinksy, with your lying skills,” Claudia doubted.

“It's worth a shot.”

“You always have the one person you can tell about the Warehouse,” Myka mentioned. He nodded at that idea. “Who is your boyfriend? You should bring him around.”

“He needs to be introduced to us,” Pete added.

“Yeah,” Claudia agreed, “How did you meet him?”

He rolled his eyes. “I was in New York, just before Jimi Hendrix and the guitar,” he recalled, “I went to the bar and caught this guy looking over at me. And he picked me up with the worse pickup line, but he told it truthfully. I kept calling him, and when I got brought here, I didn't bring him around because it made it easier to keep things separate.”

“Well, now you're going to have to,” Pete said, wrapping around his shoulders. “Anything we should know? Allergies?”

He glared, stating, “I'm not telling you how to poison him.”

The weekend came and they had the big dinner planned to meet the boyfriend. Steve wanted to be the first one to greet him at the door. Everyone argued that they should be the one, but he was insistent on it. He didn't want to frighten him. Unfortunately, he was in the bathroom wrestling down nausea and Claudia opened the door.

“Joshua! What are you doing here?”

_Wait? Why does Claudia know the name of my boyfriend? Unless he is the... Oh no._

“Jinks! You're dating my brother!?”


End file.
